mcnamaralouise asked:


I am 34 years old, single, no children, good-looking with a good job, nice home, lots of friends, interests and I am currently studying by evening for my masters. I meet men easily but never the right guy.

I am currently dating a divorced dad with 2 children who are 9 and 2 years old. He is only 29 years old. He got married to his ex because she became pregnant. He felt obliged to stay for the child but never really loved her. Then she had a second child, again against his will (she lied to him about taking the pill). He works as a baggage handler at the airport and she has a low paid job also so they couldn’t really afford a second child. Lot of problems continued after having the second child and they ended up divorcing. Then I met him and we fell in love. I love him deeply but he has absolutely no money. He lives in a room and the children come to stay with him there every second weekend. He is really good to them.
He says he loves me and would like to have a child with me in the future. However, I would have to pay for any children we have 100% as he has no money. I currently own a 2 bed apartment. If we wanted to have a child, I would have to buy a house and it would be me who would have to pay the mortgage almost fully. What should I do? I love him but the whole situation is complicated. I have one other question if I ever married him (and our incomes were combined) would he be forced to pay more alimony to his ex wife? Do you think I am still young enough to find a sinlge man with less baggage.
He can’t afford to take me out, go to restaurants or buy me flowers. I always pay for him when I take him out. Do you think even if I love him I will grow to resent him in this situation?
Would our combined incomes be taken into account for child support if I married him? I don’t think that is fair as I want to have enough money to pay for my own child.
He is a great guy who truly loves me deeply. I don’t mind paying for him now and again. He works hard and I am trying to help him get a better job so that he has more money to pay for his children.
I met his ex-wife. She told me that she regrets having trapped him and having the second child. She sometimes locks the 2 year old in a room for hours when he gets too noisy. I think this is outrageous. She asked her daughter to ask me how much I earn. I just don’t think I should be in this situation.